Jun 19 2007
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X-Day Is At Hand!!!
The world is scheduled to end again on July 5. No, this is not Malcolm X-day (which was on May 18th) but the annual celebration of the end of the world where the faithful (and dues-paying) members of the Church of the SubGenius will take their promised ride on the “pleasure saucers” of the sex goddesses to certain paradise.
Most visitors to this site already know about the SubGenius group, founded in the late 1970s by a crazy group of artists from Dallas, Texas. For years, their prediction of the end of the world was gleefully awaited by thousands of cynical, laughing members. When the end didn’t come as planned on July 5, of 1998, everyone assumed that it was simply “not time.”
I am still a member of the Church, (my liturgical name is ”Anomalous Phenomena”) but have lost my card, which is probably just what I am expected to do. Unfortunately, I will be in Roswell during the official X-Day festivities, but as I am paid up, I fully expect to be raptured right into the heavens at 7AM on July 5th.
Too bad I’ll miss all the naked people and drunken revelry in upstate New York.
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June 19th, 2007 at 6:48 am
SubGenius! Heheheheheh
I wish them the very best of luck on their ’special’ day
June 19th, 2007 at 7:03 am
First of all, it is vital you have your SubGenius Minister’s Ordainment Card when the Xists come to Rupture you away on July 5th at 7:00 AM! But fortunately, you can request a new card from the SubGenius Foundation ( http://www.subgenius.com ). As long as your name is entered into the Book of Life, you will be able to get a replacement membership card. Remember, that is your ONLY TICKET onto the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses!
Second, we are quite aware of the Roswell UFO festival and have made our own statement regarding it: http://tinyurl.com/2b29fl
And third, even though you are going to a *second rate* event by attending Roswell’s festival instead of X-Day, you can still drop by our newsgroup (alt.slack) or our IRC channel ( http://www.taphouse.org ) at any time!
June 19th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Roswell? Never heard of it.
Best get that replacement card right quick, you’ve only got a couple of weeks left?!
I hope for your sake that you do.
If so, we’ll see you on the saucers!
If not? Well, I’m sure you’ll find a way to have fun in the ensuing global cleansing…
June 19th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I’m going to be more nonconformist than any of you guys/ gals, and not request a new card. After all, I know the REAL truth about your so-called “X-ists,” and I’ll be raptured when the actual day arrives.
Besides, I’m getting a free ride to Roswell. That’s a price that’s hard to beat.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:09 am
Hmmmm, what does a Discordian Popecard buy me?…I don’t want to miss out on the sex goddesses.
June 22nd, 2007 at 4:11 am
It does seem logical that a smart religion in a consumer society would offer sex goddesses instead of virgins. Too bad for you they look like snatchsquatch, bigfoots sluty sister.
Jess
June 22nd, 2007 at 8:18 pm
D’oh!