Vomit-Bag Required - The Dolphins Are Back
Well, my article “Crop Circles - Makers or Fakers?” provoked a number of interesting posts here at UFOMystic. It also provoked a phone-call last night from an elderly woman named Alice, who had got my number from one of the magazines I write for.
Alice meant well, she really did, and she gently castigated me for being deceived “by negative animates” who wanted me to believe that the Crop Circles were made by 6-foot-tall Englishmen (or by Welshmen in the case of Matthew Williams - he just happens to live in England), rather than by 4-foot-tall emaciated men of the big-headed, black-eyed variety.
We discussed the subject for 10 minutes and all was well. That is, until Alice starting going on about the “space friends,” Atlantis, and dolphins, and how the Crop Circles were part of an alien plan to save us for “a new glory.”
Now, Alice, I know you mean well and that your views are earnest. But when people start talking about dolphins in an ET context, it’s time to pass the vomit-bag.
As I told Alice, there is a lot of good research being done on UFOs and the possibility that aliens could be visiting us. I also agreed with her that a lot of intriguing work had been done (and was still being done) into what may have prompted the tales about Atlantis.
And I also told her that I had no problem with people having an affinity with dolphins. For example, in 2004 me and Dana went to Mexico on holiday and did one of those organized dolphin-swims where you get to be hauled around a big lake by the beast, thrown in the air, and finish up by giving it a sloppy kiss on the cheek (actually do dolphins have cheeks, or is just a big head? I’m not sure). Anyway, it was an amazing experience. So, yes, dolphins are officially cool.
But…(there is always a but) when I have to hear tales about how dolphins are actually an ancient race from some far off world, brought here by space-borne do-gooders who want to save the Ozone layer, the rain-forests, blah-blah-blah, I really have to say that enough is enough.
Let’s look at the facts: UFOs (and don’t get me wrong - there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that there is a genuine UFO phenomenon - it’s just not what it purports to be) have been here since at least 1947 and probably for as long as we have been here.
However, in all that time, they have not saved the rain-forests. They have not cured cancer. They have not plugged the Ozone Layer holes. They have not solved our problems of over-population and starvation. They have not prevented the increasing destruction of polar ice, or the worrying animal extinctions that occur every year. They have not…well, they haven’t done anything for us! The slimy toads won’t even give me next week’s lottery numbers.
I’ll tell you what they have done though: they have carefully avoided any direct contact with us. They have systematically abducted people without permission, and done who knows what to them in the process. They have skulked around our military bases in the dead of night, testing our defenses. And they treat us in a way that we treat laboratory rats.
So you’ll excuse me if I go and vomit when I hear all this love and light stuff about the world being saved by caring ETS, and us all becoming best friends with the Dolphins of Delta-Zargon 12 , or from the constellation of Mzukzbitfgunk or from whichever place they are supposed to come from.
The fact is, the “aliens” have never helped us. Ever. At all. Doubt they ever will. And dolphins are merely highly evolved mammals - from Earth. So leave Flipper and his friends to blissfully play in the oceans and don’t burden them with all our hopes and projections about peace-loving aliens spreading good cheer and curing the world’s ills. And don’t think that the “aliens” have anything other than a loathing and hatred of us.
I’ll beat they secretly eat dolphins, too. Now wouldn’t that be ironic?
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Dec 15 2006 
December 15th, 2006 at 9:09 am
It’s called a melon, dear boy - an echolocation device….
December 15th, 2006 at 9:26 am
I heartily agree! Everyone in-the-know knows that it’s the whales who will cure cancer and end poverty! Chuckle, chuckle. But seriously, these people mean well - and in an alternate dimension or parallel universe there may indeed be Dolphins of Delta Zargon 12, or cute and cozy little aliens that look like Care Bears, but when people talk about this happening in OUR world, it muddles the whole field of serious investigation. I am all for humor and light and speculation, but not when it prevents real research from progressing and makes everyone involved look kinda kooky.
Marie Jones
December 15th, 2006 at 9:29 am
I agree Marie.
I have no objection to people holding such views, and I’m convinced they are entirely earnest in those views.
And humor is an essential part of ufology.
But to take all of that dolphin stuff literally is a big mistake - to me at least.
December 15th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Cheers for that, Lazza, old pal. If anyone could supply the answer I knew it would be you!
December 15th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Sir Nick,
Don’t believe any of that benevolent dolphin stuff! You know as well as I that these rascals are theriomorphs and come on land when they morph legs.
They are fifth-columnist Cormons, the very ones Mother Sarah Graymalkin told you killed off “the Nine” centuries ago and brought all these other “Cormonic hoards” (mystery cats, bigfoot, gargoyles, etc.) into our world and set them loose upon us!
Just ask Jon or Richard! LOL!!!
December 15th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Bill
Indeed!
In fact, there has been a big debate on the Tulpa angle in the “Crop Circle - Makers or Fakers” Comment section of this blog over the course of the last two days.
I don’t know if I ever told you this, but the photo that Colin Perks (Glastonbury Gargoyle) took of “something” in the River Thames near the MI6 building is on my old website in the news section. The site is still available to view - for a while.
I don’t know what it shows - serpent or part of a tree - but at least Perks has been willing to part with the picture and have it analyzed.
December 15th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
I’ll have to check that photo out. I wondered whatever happened to old Perks, if the Gargoyle finally got him or if he tossed in the towel on his Arthurian research in the name of “preserving his health”
Thanks much. Bill
December 15th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
That’s a good question.
Dana and me were down in Glastonbury for a couple of days in July. But none of my old hang-out mates had seen him for years.
I got the photo off him a couple of years back actually. But his old address isn’t vaild anymore. And last “sighting” (as far as I know) was apparently of him attending a crop circle meeting at the Barge pub in Wiltshire, where all the crop circle people hang out.
He’s actually a very good artist and sent the publishers a great pencil drawing of the gargoyle that was never used.
December 15th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
You got it wrong. They’re from the constellation of Mzukzbitfgunk II. Everyone knows the constellation of Mzukzbitfgunk is uninhabited. Alas, if only you hadn’t skipped so many days of school as a child…
So the aliens aren’t our friends? Not wise, benevolent, virtuous and…dare I say it…even virginal? Billy Meiers lied to us then?
I see the problem here. All you gents from the UK need educating. Ya’ll should wander on over to Mark Kimmel’s site where you can learn about the happy aliens; the jolly, helpful aliens. They’re kind, compassionate, generous and they’re going to help us evolve into…what was that now… Ah, yes! Evolve into Welshmen! THAT’S what’s got your dander all up!
December 15th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Ah, it all becomes clear to me now! I will admit though, that it is easy for a person to confuse their Mzukzbitfgunk’s - particularly after some good British beer! Talking of which, that’s where I’m off to momentarily….
December 15th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
I lived in Germany for several years and they made it clear to me there IS no such thing as “good British beer”…or “good American beer” or any other beer except German beer. I won’t repeat here what they called American beer, as this is a Family Blog and I don’t want to be a bad influence on the children. I will say, however, that their description involved the urinary tract of a pig; one, I believe, with a bladder infection. It wasn’t pretty.
December 16th, 2006 at 11:30 am
Hmmm. I heard since Superman returned he’s saying they’re from the 5th dimension of Mxyzptlk. Everybody seems to have their own take on it.
Now me, I’m a Magonian. Got my passport all stamped by Jacques Vallee and John Keel. All us Magonians know that quantum physics is right, the Buddhists are right, and the Hindus are right, and the world of “reality” is illusion. Ergo Occam’s Razor isn’t valid and “Science” doesn’t really exist at all.
And Colin Perks’ “serpent” in the water at Vauxhall Cross looks more like a skinny little stick to me. Likely a disguised recon device cooked up over at Q Branch.
December 16th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Bill
LOL, you may be right be Perks!
Have you read Marie Jones’ new book, PSIence? All about quantum physics and how it may epxplain the paranormal.
Very good book. You can even see a new photo of me in there exchanging tongues with a chupacabras (I checked - it was definitely female!).
It will be posted to my Nick’s Pic of the Day section next week.
It’s not a photo for the faint-hearted!
December 16th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Raven
German beer? Yep, it’s good. But on a par with the UK? NEVER!!
December 16th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
Synchronicity Strikes…and Carl Jung would love it!!
Went fighting traffic and browsed a Barnes & Noble this afternoon. A book caught my eye and I plucked it down from the shelf and skimmed through it. Title was “PSIence” by Marie D. Jones. Looked interesting, so I bought it. This is barely six hours ago. Sat down in my car to look through it and…Lo and behold…I come across this picture of some kind of spraddle-legged “whatsit” in the grip of some “seriously perved” looking dude in a headwrap and a black t-shirt…with a “seriously perved” looking tongue that seemed poised for God-only-knows what kind of “seriously perved” activity. I shudder to think.
Then I notice the caption identifying someone I am somewhat familiar with and think “Well, there you go. Mother Sarah has finally warped him beyond all hope. Yo, Perks! Send in the gargoyle!” LOL!
I will start reading this very soon now, and hope it doesn’t have a similar effect on me!
December 17th, 2006 at 9:04 am
LOL, Bill, you have just described me with uncanny precision! Now, that is definitely a synchronicity of classic proportions.
I will be posting another pic of one of my Puerto Rico trips next week that haa a very weird synchronistic angle to it.
December 18th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Nick, you told me that little Chupa was a male! Hmmmm….
MARIE JONES
December 18th, 2006 at 10:50 am
Outrageous, Marie! I did not!
LOL
December 18th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Hee hee.! Couldn’t resist. I hope you don’t mind me posting a bit around here. Aside from the tantalizing ideas and great sharing of opinions, there is just wayyyyy too much testosterone… You all need a bit of estrogen to balance things out, you virile men, you!!!
December 18th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Nope, don’t mind you posting at all - that’s what the blog is here for!
December 18th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Ugh! Woman post good. But me say tes..tes…whatever she say… good too!
Never too much! Ugh! Estro stuff might make do funny things. Act strange.
Want be like ARNOLD. Or THE DUKE.
Mmmmmmmmm. Duke GOOOOOD. Spank women in “McClintock” and “Donovan’s Reef”. Is good, no?
December 18th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
LOLOL
December 19th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I’ll be baaaack! (Arnold’s my GOVERNOR, for Chrissakes!) Oy vey…Besides, we women know hand that moves dummy Arnold mouth up and down belong to Maria! Ugh, garumph!
December 19th, 2006 at 9:17 am
Ugh. You talk good, woman. Write good book too. May be estro stuff okay, Time me go back cave now. Scratch fleas.
December 20th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
….sigh…. spiraling down in flames. And we came down from the trees for this?
December 20th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
LOL Jim.
December 27th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
You know what, when you said “So you’ll excuse me if I go and vomit when I hear all this love and light stuff about the world being saved by caring ETS,” and then “The fact is, the “aliens†have never helped us. Ever. At all.”
You totally wrote exactly what I have been thinking for years!!
December 28th, 2006 at 6:49 am
Dingo:
Good to hear we’re on a similar wavelength. When the aliens land and cure cancer and save the rain-forest, etc., etc., then I will apologize to the ufological love-and-light brigade. But will they land and cure the world of all its ills? Nope!
January 9th, 2007 at 10:35 am
[...] In a previous post titled Vomit-Bag Required - The Dolphins Are Back, I expressed an opinion that if aliens were indeed visiting our world - and have been for an untold number of decades, or even centuries - they have not done even a single thing to help us in all that time. Nothing. [...]